"You can't be what everybody else wants you to be. Do what makes you happy." - Tiffany Limos 3/31/09

"Acting is easy, writing is hard!" - Marlon Brando

"I am filled with love and affection." - Tiffany Limos 3/22/10

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." - Mark Twain

About Me

My photo
"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde

Blog Archive

Friday, April 3, 2009

How to Harness Patience...

Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.
Brian Adams

Patience is the greatest of all virtues.
Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC)

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.
Dutch Proverb

Our patience will achieve more than our force.
Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

It is very strange that the years teach us patience - that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.
Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - ), "A Wreath of Roses"

There art two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness.
Franz Kafka (1883 - 1924)

Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
George Jackson (1941 - 1971)

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.
Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

The fates have given mankind a patient soul.
Homer (800 BC - 700 BC), The Iliad

If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent.
Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727)

Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind.
Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Margaret Thatcher (1925 - ), in Observer April 4, 1989

There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails.
Richard Rybolt

Patience is the companion of wisdom.
Saint Augustine (354 AD - 430 AD)

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.
Saint Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
Stanislaw J. Lec (1909 - 1966), "Unkempt Thoughts"

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
Titus Maccius Plautus (254 BC - 184 BC), Rudens

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

It has never been easy to be patient, but it's probably harder now than at any time in history. In a world in which messages can be sent across the world instantly, in which seemingly everything is available for immediate purchase with a few clicks of the mouse, it's hard not to always expect instant gratification. But patience remains a valuable tool in life. We don't always get instant gratification, and some of the best things in life require years of hard work and waiting. Fortunately, patience is a virtue that can be cultivated and nurtured.

Try to figure out why you're in such a hurry. We tend to lose our patience when we're multi-tasking or when we're on a tight schedule. If you're stretching yourself too thin, you should reconsider your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Try to spread out your tasks so that you're doing only one thing at a time. Delegate responsibilities to others if you can; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.

Pinpoint the triggers that often make you lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to make you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?

Overcome bouts of impatience. In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind. Concentrate on breathing and you'll be able to get your bearings.
Look for patterns. Being aware of your impatience also gives you a chance to learn from it and perhaps uncover a relationship or circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive, and that you may have the power to change. Figure that out, and you can then think logically about the problem issue and decide whether or not your impatience is warranted or helpful. It usually isn't, but when it is you can then figure out ways to fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.

Let go if you can't do anything about the impatience trigger. If there isn't anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it's possible, and it's the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you--waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance--but you should be able to alleviate impatience that's caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the grocery store). If you make a concerted effort to be more patient in relatively inconsequential, short-term situations, you'll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.

Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don't like to waste time. However, some things just can't be rushed. Think about your happiest memories. Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily towards a goal that wasn't immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not. Almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you're impatient, you're more likely to give up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important to you. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don't come right away.

Expect the unexpected. Yes, you have plans, but things don't always work out as planned. Accept the twist and turns in life gracefully. Keep your expectations realistic. This applies not only to circumstances, but also the behavior of those around you. If you find yourself blowing up over your child or your spouse accidentally spilling a drink, you're not in touch with the fact that people aren't perfect. Even if the occasion is not an isolated incident but is instead caused by their repeated neglect and carelessness, losing your patience isn't going to make it any better. That's something to be addressed with discussion and self-control.
Give yourself a break. The meaning of this is twofold. First, take a few minutes to do absolutely nothing. Just sit quietly and think. Don't watch television; don't even read. Do nothing. It may be hard at first, and you may even feel pretty impatient after a minute or two, but by taking some time out you can essentially slow your world down, and that's important to develop the attitude necessary to develop patience. Second, stop holding yourself and the world around you to unreachable standards. Sure, we'd all be more patient if babies didn't cry, dishes didn't break, computers didn't crash, and people didn't make mistakes--but that's never going to happen. Expecting the world to run smoothly is like beating your head against the wall. Give yourself a break.

Remember what matters. Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most. When other less important things fuel our impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces our tendency to want something different right now.


Boredom can make it very difficult to be patient. If you're waiting in the doctor's office and the only thing you can concentrate on is the ticking clock, good luck trying to be patient. If, however, you can read a book or do a crossword puzzle, time will fly by (or at least creep less slowly). If you've nothing to do while you're waiting, just try to appreciate the fact that you have nothing to do. In a fast-paced world, opportunities to do nothing are rare and should be cherished.
Once you are able to change your attitude so that you are a patient person, you will find that patience can help you endure any tribulation, no matter how long-lasting or difficult. More importantly, perhaps, patience can help you achieve your goals.
Many people find that spirituality helps develop patience. Nearly every religion places value on patience, and indeed, having a belief system and embracing your spirituality can help you let go of things you cannot change and can comfort you when you are waiting. If you're not religious, you may still benefit from prayer or meditation, even if you're just talking to yourself, because these activities take you out of the worldly hustle and bustle.

Being patient with others is a form of respect for them. Nobody is perfect, and if you want to be a good parent, boss, spouse, or friend, it's important to recognize this and to be patient with people. "Don't sweat the small stuff" is a good motto. You and everyone around you will be more relaxed and able to get along much better.
Developing patience is not easy, and you've got to be motivated to become more patient. You can do it, however, and you should. Patience can reduce your stress levels and improve your health and longevity, and patience can actually make you happier. Whenever you find yourself growing impatient, think about the positive effects of patience, and remember that impatience only makes things worse.
Instead of becoming annoyed by a distraction (such as a crying baby on a long flight), try just being a passive observer. If you make it daily practice to observe things and events without judging or forming an opinion, being able to acknowledge something without allowing it to annoy you will become easier with time.
People that are patient tend to have better lives.

Remember, for every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness.
One way to release stress is to write about it. Studies have shown that people who write about their emotions tend to become more calm and learn to accept the emotions that they are experiencing. so, the next time you feel angry, just write about it and try to meditate over why you would be so angry.

A quote from James Clavell's Shogun: “Karma is the beginning of knowledge. Next is patience. Patience is very important. The strong are the patient ones. Patience means holding back your inclination to the seven emotions: Hate, adoration, joy, anxiety, anger, grief, fear. If you don’t give way to the seven, you’re patient, then you’ll soon understand all manner of things and be in harmony with Eternity.”


Patience should be no excuse for procrastination. While patience can help you be OK with doing nothing, it's important to understand that idleness breeds impatience and stress.

Be patient with others who display little patience; if they bother you too much, make an excuse to locate yourself somewhere else and take a break from their anxiety-inducing behavior.


Life's annoyances and challenges require that we practice patience. But the speed of life often wears our patience thin. Patience is essential because it gives us self-control, helps us be more loving, and achieve what we want. Like a muscle, patience can be strengthened with regular exercise. The right attitude and a little practice captures the power of patience. Read on to learn more.

Difficulty: Moderate

Study Yourself


1 Step OneStudy what triggers your impatience. Notice what happens just before you're ready to blow.

2 Step TwoNotice how impatience feels. Identify your own feelings of annoyance or irritation. Find a way to counteract your feelings. For example, breathe slowly or tell yourself, "I have plenty of time."

3 Step ThreeDiscover ways to slow yourself down. Patience comes with a much slower, even pace.

Harness Patience


1 Step OneLaugh at the situation. Find the humor in what is often a ridiculous situation.

2 Step TwoThink about all you have accomplished when you are feeling overwhelmed. Don't focus merely on what remains to be done. Ask for help.

3 Step ThreeCount to ten. If that doesn't work, count to 100.

4 Step FourPut a pebble in your pocket. When you find yourself getting anxious, move the pebble to the other pocket. Continue moving it from one to the other to interrupt the cycle of your anxiety.

5 Step FiveTake daydream trips. When you must wait, visualize the most peaceful place you can. See and feel yourself there.

6 Step SixTake a moment to notice three breaths at a stoplight or when the phone rings. Notice how your breath comes and goes without trying to change it.

7 Step SevenReduce or swear off caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant that can make us nervous, edgy,and jittery.